Emotional Ambush in the Workplace: How to Avoid it?
An emotional ambush happens when someone says something that suddenly floods another person with negative feelings. This could be criticism, sarcasm, or being left out. After an ambush, the person who was caught off guard may feel uneasy around the person who ambushed them and see them as a source of emotional stress instead of comfort.
However, emotional ambush doesn’t solely manifest through criticism; it can also occur through flattery.
Agreeing to a commitment when you really wanted to decline is also a form of emotional ambush, a scenario frequently encountered in the workplace. Psychologist George Simon has discussed individuals he labels as “covert aggressors,” who employ subtle tactics to manipulate others. Recognizing these tactics can help us avoid being emotionally ambushed.
According to Simon, manipulators often utilize guilt, shame, flattery, and playing the victim to make us feel indispensable. Do any of these phrases sound familiar?
“We’re relying on you.”
“You excel at it.”
“You did such an outstanding job last time.”
“No one else possesses your skill.”
“We need your expertise.”
“I cannot navigate this without your assistance.”
“I’m placing my trust in you.”
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“We cannot proceed without you.”
“This project is tailor-made for you.”
The reality is, we strive to be irreplaceable in the workplace. We aim to be the go-to person and impress our superiors. However, in our pursuit of these goals, we often become drained and overlook our mental well-being.
In our eagerness to leave a favorable impression on our bosses and managers, we often find ourselves vulnerable to emotional ambushes. There’s certainly merit in striving to excel and earn recognition in the workplace, as we’re simply aiming to earn an honest livelihood. We tend to take on additional responsibilities because it reinforces the notion that we are valued in our workplace. After all, who doesn’t enjoy feeling valued? We all do. However, this pursuit can turn detrimental when we prioritize it over our own well-being. When does this ambition become harmful? It’s when we neglect our physical and mental health in our relentless pursuit of approval from our managers.
Avoiding emotional ambushes in the workplace involves a combination of self-awareness, assertiveness, and boundary-setting. Here are some strategies:
1. Know Your Boundaries: Understand your limits and priorities. Be clear about what you can and cannot commit to, and don’t hesitate to politely decline requests that exceed your capacity.
2. Set Clear Expectations: Establish clear expectations upfront when agreeing to tasks or projects. Clarify the scope, timeline, and deliverables to prevent misunderstandings later on.
3. Take Time to Respond: If you’re caught off guard by a request, don’t feel pressured to give an immediate answer. Take time to evaluate the request and consider how it aligns with your priorities before responding.
By implementing these strategies, you can minimize the risk of emotional ambushes and maintain healthier boundaries in the workplace.
